This month a lady whom I worked with and who is beautiful both on the inside and the outside Ms. Jill MARSHALL will walk down the aisle and make an honest man of Mr. John MELLOR. I am sure that John is really quite lovely, but I haven't met him yet. I loved that my invitation to their wedding 'requested the pleasure of the company of Benedict CUMBERBATCH and Hanya GORDON.' I wish! Unfortunately I think Benedict was busy, otherwise engaged. Damn!
I rather like Weddings. Well, I like other people's Weddings. I haven't had one of my own. No one has ever even asked! I know! How rude! I quite like all of the speeches. All of the Toasts. All of the Champagne. I quite like all the photographs. I quite like the flowers, the gifts, the bouquet (the throwing of the bouquet: The throwing of the wedding bouquet was introduced from America and it is said that whoever catches the bouquet will be next to be married) and the dress, the cake and all of the organisation. Oh and the confetti. I like confetti. Confetti has replaced rice or grain in modern times, the rice was thrown at the bride and groom to encourage fertility. So now you know.
I like that two people have met, fallen in love and decided to exchange rings and exchange vows and declare their love for each other in front of God, in front of their families and in front of their friends. I think that that is something worth celebrating. That two people have made, are making a public declaration to each other of their love and commitment.
I quite like all of the traditions, myths and etiquette of Weddings. For example, the bride stands on the left of the groom during the marriage ceremony to allow his sword arm to be free ready to fight off other men who may want her as their bride.
Apparently the choice of colour of the Wedding Dress is also important (note to self: don't get married in red... and probably not pink...):Married in White: You have chosen right.
Married in Blue: Your lover is true.
Married in Pink: Your fortunes will sink.
Married in Green: You will not long be seen.
Married in Red: You'll wish you were dead.
Married in Yellow: Ashamed of the fellow.
Married in Brown: You'll live out of town.
Married in Grey: You'll live far away.
Married in Black: You'll wish you were back.
On the way to the church it is fortunate for a bride to meet a lamb, a dove, a spider, or a black cat but a pig or funeral, are bad omens. It is also fortunate that if on the journey to the church the bride sees a policeman, clergyman, doctor or a blind man. The groom should give a coin to the first person he sees on his journey to the church for good luck.
And then there is the rhyme: "Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue. And a silver sixpence in her shoe."
Something Old: Represents the link with the bride's family and the past. A common solution many brides choose is to wear a piece of family jewellery or their mother's or grandmother's wedding dress. Something New: Represents good fortune and success in the bride's new life. The wedding dress is often chosen as the new item. Something Borrowed: To remind the bride that friends and family will be there for her when help is needed. The borrowed object might be something such as a lace handkerchief or an item of jewellery. Something Blue: Symbolises faithfulness and loyalty and dates back to biblical times when blue represented purity. (It is therefore fitting that I made 'something blue' for both Amanda and Jill as I am nothing if not representative of purity!). A Silver Sixpence in her Shoe is to wish the bride wealth, both financial and happiness.
So, charge your glasses Ladies and Gentlemen; join me in a toast: "Wishing Love, Health, Wealth, Success and Happiness, yes, lots and lots of happiness, to the Bride and Groom".